The Crashie Bandicoot Wiki
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Welcome to the Crashie Bandicoot Wiki!

This is the Crashie Bandicoot wiki, a wiki anyone can edit. But we do not take truth seriously here! If it's funny, it's allowed. If it's libellous, it's allowed. If it's silly, it's allowed. If it makes no sense, it might not be. Welcome, and don't take the series too seriously!


Featured Article of the Month

One of these Vibrating Wooden Turtles is vibrating, but it's a still photograph so WE'LL NEVER KNOW

Vibrating Wooden Turtles were enemies that débuted in Crash Bandicoot and the Grand Adventure of the Not-Yet-Existent Power Crystals. In still screenshots, they look very much like real non-wooden turtles, but the advent of the motion picture has revealed their vicious lie. Instead, they appear to be skilfully crafted wooden sculptures, which are somehow able to replicate real-life-style turtle locomotion through means of vibration. It is, however, currently unknown what, exactly, enables these terra-pine critters to vibrate. According to an old Tribesanistani folk tale first told by the wise shaman Darles "Chara Chara Boom Boom" Charwin, the vibration is a beneficial genetic trait gradually acquired through the mystical shamanistic practice of "natural selection", though President "Papu Papu" Papupapudopoulos has thankfully stopped this nasty rumour from spreading, for it is a vicious affront to Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. (more...?)

In the News

  • Naughty Dog still does not announce their involvement in any upcoming Crash Bandicoot games. Nonetheless, fans continue to claim otherwise.
  • Cerny Games representative Mark Cerny confesses to having Twitterded lewd pictures of his genitals to a number of fine young ladies. Nobody asks him to step down, because this behaviour is actually rather tame for him.
  • In an attempt to keep his empire afloat in the face of the ongoing evil recession, Dr. Neo Cortex announces the opening of N-eral Mills, a new division of Uncle Cortie's Cortex Power Super-Conglomerate, Incorporated dedicated to the manufacture and sale of breakfast cereals. The first creation to go on sale will be Cortie-O's, the first breakfast cereal made entirely from dehydrated eggs, slated to launch in July.
  • Indian painter M. F. Husain, the so-called "Picasso of India", dies of a heart attack, thus ending years of speculation that the artist, infamous for his sexually suggestive portrayals of Hindu deities in the nude, was to be responsible for Activision's next redesign of Crash Bandicoot.

Did You Know...

  • ...that Ripper Roo is among the leading candidates to take over for Steve Carell in season eight of The Office?
  • ...that the bananaphones featured in Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures! are a sly parody of a real-world product, Apple Corporation's iPhone?
  • ...that Dr. Neo Cortex's name is a sly pun on a part of the human brain known as the laterodorsal tegmental nucleus?
  • ...that Crash Bandicoot was originally slated to voice Cortex in Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, but then he got cut, yet nonetheless he still appeared in the official in-game credits?
  • ...that Coco Bandicoot is hot, so it's really too bad she's on her period right now?
  • ...that Crash Bandicoot 2: N-Tranced was an adaptation of an unsold television pilot by Glenn Gordon Caron?
  • ...that Mark Mothersbaugh's mother's maiden name was, quite ironically, Fathersbaugh?
  • ...that Wa-Wa's name is an anagram of "Aw-Aw", a sly reference to how adorable the development team thought the super-cute R. Lee Ermey was?
  • ...that Dr. Nitrus Brio and Dr. Nefarious Tropy briefly lived together as roommates, as first seen in Crash Twinsanity and later chronicled more extensively in their short-lived sitcom, Time for Change?
  • ...that Crash: Mind Over Mutant's original name was Crash: Dangerous Action Dynamo!, but the name was changed at the request of Maurice LaMarche because his dad was brutally slain but his mom was still very much alive?
  • ...that James Earl Jones portrayed characters in all three segments of The Simpsons' first annual "Treehouse of Horror" episode, according to Dr. N. Trance?
  • ...that Connie Booth is a fucking cunt? Who wants to know why? MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Shut the £$^( up!

Random Quote of the Moment

"Do do do do do-do-do-do-do-do, do do do do do-do-do-do-do-do, do do do do do-do-do-do-do-do, dooooooo dooooooo doooooooooo"
Spiralmouth, some lame-ass song from the Crash Twinsanity soundtrack
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