New World Disorder is the thirteenth episode of the second season of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures!. In it, Cortex takes to the seas to prevent Christopher Colwumpus from discovering the Three Islands. During production, it was known as A Pirate's Wump For Me.
One fine day at Brio Hotel, Dr. Nitrus Brio was holding a history class. There were only three students attending: Tiny Tiger (who is trying to hold the pencil with two hands), Coco Bandicoot, and Crash Bandicoot. Brio tells them a story about the founder of the Three Islands, Christopher Colwumpus. This story is also this week's original song, for obvious reasons. Coco takes notes. Crash is seen watching his pocket Wumpavision. Tiny is taking notes in the form of silly doodles. The next day, at Cortex Castle, Cortex is holding a contest to see who can come up with the best evil scheme for the week. N. Gin suggests they travel to the stone ages to steal a dinosaur egg, and raise it as an evil minion in the present. Pinstripe suggests they travel back to the previous year, where he was featured more prominently. Tiny has the winning idea: they travel back to 1492 to prevent Christopher Culwumpus from discovering the Three Islands. Cortex laughs with joy upon hearing it. He likes the idea, and wants to become the founder of the Three Islands, himself. Dr. N. Tropy smiles, and then takes off his top hat and pulls out a time bunny, whose fuzzy tail shoots everyone in the room (except Uka Uka), teleporting them all to an abandoned pirate ship in The Spanish Sea. Meanwhile, Aku Aku is seen reading the News Wumpaper, and it tells him that Shortbeard Cortex and his crew of unmerry gentlemen are trying to beat Christopher Colwumpus to the Three Islands, so he could be billed as their founder. Coco explains that she just learned about him in school, and refuses to let this happen. She drags Crash away from a new episode of The Frenchie Waiter of Bel-Air, much to his annoyance. They make it to the Time Twister, but Uka Uka remembered to lock it this week! Thinking uncharacteristically quickly, Crash grabs Aku Aku and pulls out his Lock Pick Feather, and opens it up. They transport to 1492, and wind up on the "Santa Claus And Maria", the ship helmed by Christopher Colwumpus (voiced by special guest star George Wendt). Colwumpus thinks Crash, Coco, and Aku Aku are his crew. No one bothers to correct him. Just then, a massive rainfall begins, and Shortbeard Cortex and his crew show up behind him. He unveils it the "S. S. Bad Guys". Shortbeard Cortex decides it's time to unveil his crew... swabbing the deck it's Swashbucklin' Bill and Lavatory Larry. Manning the cannons, it's Pinstripe Pirateroo. Manning the lasers, it's Long Gin Silver. And of course, there's generic swordfighters Long John Tropster, Rilly the Kid, Dingodile Hook, One-Eyed Rippery, and Tiny Tig-Arrghhh. Shortbeard Cortex hops up on the "Santa Claus and Maria". He demands everyone turn around or Pinstripe Pirateroo and Long Gin Silver will use their weapons to destroy the ship. Aku Aku refuses to let this happen. He activates his Rock Mode, and turns into rock. Crash then begins to throw Aku Aku and Cortex until he jumps back into the "S.S. Bad Guys". Shortbeard Cortex shrugs, and then decides to play kinda sorta fair. He challenges Christopher Colwumpus to a race. Colwumpus accepts, but doesn't know why, since he's looking for Spain Island. Coco tries to explain the situation, but Colwumpus shrugs it off as nothing more than a young seamate babbling. Shortbeard Cortex and his crew speed up. As do the good guys. It's racing time, as accompanied by the original song of the week. During the song, Shortbeard Cortex begins to cheat. Pinstripe Pirateroo and Long Gin Silver shoot at the "Santa Claus And Maria", but keep missing. By the time the song is over, it is revealed that this is because the two can't agree on what weapon is superior. Tiny Tig-Arrghhh, Dingodile Hook, One-Eyed Rippery, and Rilly the Kid all jump aboard and begins to fight. Long John Tropster is seen reading a book instead. Aku Aku gets angry and eats Rilly the Kid and Dingodile Hook. Crash takes out his handy dandy Wumpa-Shooting Bazooka, and is able to stop the frantic attacks of One-Eyed Rippery. Tiny Tig-Arrghhh is seen trying to kidnap Christopher Colwumpus. Coco doesn't let this happen. She plucks out one of Aku Aku's feathers and starts tickling Tiny with it. He laughs so hard he falls off the ship into The Spanish Sea. Tiny tries his hardest to swim, but fails. Long John Tropster uses his magic to pull Tiny back into the "S.S. Bad Guys". Shortbeard Cortex just sighs. Due to the commotion, however, the bad guys are in the lead. Long Gin Silver and Pinstripe Pirateroo have finally coordinated their attacks, as well. Crash, thinking fast, shoves Aku Aku into his bazooka. He shoots Aku Aku at the two, and they fall into The Spanish Sea. Long John Tropster just sighs, and saves them as well. This amuses Tiny Tig-Arrghhh greatly. During this commotion, however, the "Santa Claus And Maria" have passed the baddies, and won the race. Shortbeard Cortex takes off his pirate hat, and punches it in anger. This also amuses Tiny Tig-Arrghhh. So, Shortbeard Cortex just grounds him. This amuses everyone but Tiny. Long John Tropster transports everyone back to the present. Christopher Colwumpus discovers The Three Islands, so history is saved. Meanwhile, in the past, Uka Uka is once again, screaming at Cortex for yet another failed scheme. Pinstripe interjects saying that they should've used his suggestion to travel back to the previous year. Uka Uka agrees. Meanwhile, back in the past, the heroes are celebrating with Christopher Colwumpus, who reminds everyone that being famous is not all it's cracked up to be.