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Crash Bandicoot is an overweight bandicoot that was eaten by Dr. Neo Cortex in 2008, meaning that Activision couldn't be bothered to make another game as it would involve them having to reach in Cortex's belly to get him out. He is a very interesting uninteresting character despite appearing in every game, and was bullied over 9,000 times in school.

Game historyEdit

Crash BandicootEdit

Crash Bandicoot first appeared in Crash Bandicoot. He fell out of the sky where he was evolved from a not-Crash Bandicoot. He landed on N. Sanity Beach with one goal in life: pussy.

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes BackEdit

After developing a nasty cocaine addiction (he liked to snort the stuff off of Tawna's ass), Crashie decided he had to come clean. He had to break up with his vaginal pal. She was cheating on him with Pinstripe anyway. He eventually had a heroin addiction, but that's a story for another day. Crashie took a new lease on life, living with his nubile sister, in a story that eventually became one of many unnecessary sequels. The evil Uncle Cortie decided to use a few crystals to conquer the planet, but he was too lazy to do it himself. He got the bandicoot to do it. Unfortunately, Brio rock-blocked him, causing yet another fucking failure. Crashie gave the beaker boy some gemmies to save the dayie!

Crash Nitro Kart
Playable Characters Crash Bandicoot | Coco Bandicoot | Crunch Bandicoot | Dr. Neo Cortex | Dr. N. Gin | Tiny Tiger | Nitros Oxide | Dr. N. Trance | Jetty Jr., the Mediocre Magnetic Go-Kart! | Sparky
Unlockable Characters Fake Crash | Dr. Nefarious Tropy | Zam | Zem | Emperor Velo XXVII | Polar | Dingodile | Pura | Spyro the Dragon
Tracks Terra (Inferno Island | Jungle Boogie | Tiny Temple)
Barin (Meteor Gorge | Barin Ruins | Deep Sea Driving)
Fenomena (Out of Time | Clockwork Wumpa | Thunder Struck)
Teknee (Assembly Lane | Android Alley | Electron Avenue)
Velo's Awesomely Generic Arena (Hyper Spaceway)
Battle Arenas Temple Turmoil | Frozen Frenzy | Desert Storm | Magnetic Mayhem | Terra Drome
Bosses Krunk | Nash | Norm | Geary | Emperor Velo XXVII

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